Do you notice yourself second-guessing most people? Is the lack of trust you feel with others impacting your relationships? Did you know that lack of trusting others can be a trauma response? Do you worry that your trauma responses are getting in the way of healing?Do you feel your inability to trust people is holding you back? Learn why and how to make small steps to making more confidence decisions.
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Are your healthcare providers communicating? Do your doctors talk to each other? Are they collaborating with your therapist? Your dietician?
Loving a trauma survivor may mean you also want to help them in many ways. You may want to help them heal, help them live an easier life, and help them be happy! This is natural and usually comes from a loving, kind, generous place.
As the world starts a new year, we start a new day — and every day is an opportunity for growth and change. Every day is a good day to take care of ourselves. You don’t have to start on January 1st with a New Year’s Resolution, and you don’t have to wait until next year if you have already missed starting on the first. Give yourself permission to start taking care of yourself every day!
After living through abuse, neglect, or violence, it’s normal to promise yourself you will never let that happen again. That promise seems to make sense. You need to feel safe, to find some sense of control. Otherwise, the danger and powerlessness you feel are too hard to live with.
You may have seen recently that model and author Chrissy Teigen bravely shared the devastating loss of her baby, Jack, in her 20th week of pregnancy. In her painful and hopeful post on Medium, she writes about the experience of having to deliver a baby who would not survive, and the healing power of sharing so much grief:
You might be standing in a room with hundred-dollar bills blowing everywhere, but if you can’t catch any, or even notice them, you won’t have any extra money in your pocket. Gratitude works the same way.
My clients aren’t running around town wearing “I’m a trauma survivor” t-shirts.
Of course they aren’t. Who wants to announce that bad things happened to them? No one!
And yet, unfortunately, many live with the aftereffects of trauma every day and don’t know it.
Trauma is what happens to your nervous system after you’ve felt unsafe and scared, and powerless to escape or protect yourself.
Who knew when the year started we’d be separated from loved ones for months? And here we are, canceling celebrations, work and vacation plans, and not even hugging our friends. We are facing more stress – financial, emotional, social – than anyone could have imagined. We haven’t seen the full impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on mental health yet. But as therapists, we know that as chronic stress continues, more people will experience depression and even suicidal thoughts.
Vulnerability can be especially scary when you have experienced trauma. But you are strong enough to work towards healthy vulnerability and health.