Search Results for: window of tolerance

The hard parts of life happen every day.

Sometimes everything feels like a hard part — especially for trauma survivors.

A strategy for coping with the hard parts of life Read More »

As we approach two long years experiencing the global trauma of COVID, we are hoping things are winding down to allow more manageable challenges. Yet many are experiencing symptoms familiar to those experienced by survivors of any long-term or chronic developmental relational trauma (CPTSD).

6 signs of trauma after COVID: Finding your path to healing Read More »

What if nothing feels “right”?

When it comes to making choices, sometimes there’s a clear winner. The decision is easy. But it seems like these days especially, every choice is harder. There are so many shades of grey. Confusion and uncertainty persist. Information is constantly changing, and we don’t know what’s accurate or what’s going to happen next.

With access to COVID vaccines, it seemed like we were coming to a light at the end of the tunnel. Now as the delta variant continues to spread, the uncertainty that we felt for so long is again looming heavily in the air.

And as we try to regain some sense of “normal” living, the choices we have to make may feel particularly difficult. Should I wear a mask? Should I go there? Is interacting with family safe? Should I send the kids back to their activities?

Decision-making for trauma survivors

5 tips for making decisions when everything feels risky Read More »

After living through abuse, neglect, or violence, it’s normal to promise yourself you will never let that happen again. That promise seems to make sense. You need to feel safe, to find some sense of control. Otherwise, the danger and powerlessness you feel are too hard to live with.

Control As a Trauma Response: Knowing You Were Powerless Helps You Heal Read More »

If you and your partner want to pursue couples therapy, that’s commendable! There is so much hope and help available in therapy. What if you’re dealing with intimate partner abuse or violence (IPV)? Therapy for domestic violence requires a trauma-informed approach.

Safety First: A Trauma-Informed Approach for Couples Who Want to End Abuse In Their Relationship Read More »

I learned an important concept about how to feel emotions again safely – especially after trauma– over 26 years ago from my favorite graduate school professor, the late Terry Taylor Smith, LMFT:

When you use the word “but” between two statements, it negates everything you say before it, while “and” allows you to be saying (and holding) both.

“And” is a powerful word. As a concept for healing, it’s life-changing. Once you start to employ this concept in your life, the possibilities are pretty incredible. I can’t think of a better time to write about how to feel and hold emotions. When so many are feeling numb and overwhelmed, “and” is more relevant and necessary than ever.

This is how to feel all your emotions – and not be overwhelmed – with one little word Read More »