How to Have a Healthy Sex Life After Sexual Abuse

healthy love and sex after abuse

Sexual trauma, abuse and violence affects a huge number of people — maybe even you or someone you know. Nearly 1/2 of women and 1 in 4 men report having endured sexual violence at some time in their lives (reports the National Sexual Violence Resource Center). One in 2 trans-identifying people report experiencing sexual violence, says the Center for Family Justice. Survivors face a huge challenge to enjoy healthy sex after sexual trauma.

Past sexual trauma undoubtedly impacts a person’s view of sex in the future—even if they are having sex now in a healthy, secure relationship.  How do you enjoy healthy sex and intimate relationships if earlier trauma triggers terror or confusion around sex? Continue reading

How to Heal Trauma By Understanding Your Attachment Style

What is your attachment style?

As a trauma-informed therapist, I talk about secure attachment because it’s the ideal model for the basis of any healthy relationship. Your earliest attachments with parents or caregivers shape your abilities and expectations for relationships throughout life. Your first relationships impact how your sense of self develops, and how you see relationships working.

Continue reading

Mr. Rogers is Right About Growth After Trauma

Fred Rogers

We all long to feel loved and accepted for who we are. To be seen and comforted in our distress feels soothing and deeply affirming. Emotional support like this is a good sign of secure attachment. When you know your wellbeing matters to someone, that’s another mark of secure attachment.

Childhood is a critical time for learning and experiencing secure attachment. Our earliest relationships do a great deal to establish our sense of self and wellbeing. Knowing, “I matter, my needs matter, and my loved ones will help keep me safe” affirms a child’s sense of self-worth.

Continue reading

Flashback Halting Guide: 10 Tips to Halt Flashbacks for Yourself or a Loved One

help someone during a flashback

Flashbacks can take many forms. Children and adults can have emotional flashbacks. Veterans can have combat flashbacks. They are part of the aftermath of trauma for many people.

Download a free flashback halting guide at the end of this article.

A person can experience trauma after an overwhelming experience, such as violence or an accident. Trauma may result from living with others who feel unsafe, such as parents or caregivers who were scary or shaming.

Continue reading