Using ‘Big T’ and ‘Little T’ for Trauma Can Be a Big Mistake

false types of trauma

Some people seem to believe that when it comes to trauma, size matters. We even have terminology that allows us to talk as if some types of trauma are less damaging, less serious, or matter less than others.

Sometimes people will describe someone’s trauma as “Big T (Big Trauma)” or “Little T (Little Trauma)”—and today, I’m calling for an end to this type of nomenclature.

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What You Need to Know About EMDR and Trauma

EMDR and Trauma: What You Need to Know

Have you ever struggled to get past a vague sense of hurt, or a gut-wrenching life experience? People sometimes feel stuck with the same old job, the same pain or fear, or the same daily grind. Maybe, deep down, you feel you’re not good enough, worthy, or capable of a better life. Such self-limiting behaviors may be after-effects of trauma. A therapeutic treatment to heal deep trauma is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR.

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How To Feel Attractive and Worthy—Just the Way You Are!

woman feels worth for sex after trauma

Feeling confident and attractive in today’s world is a huge challenge for all of us. Images, voices and messages from mainstream media can get in our heads, holding us up to impossible standards. Self-acceptance and healthy sex after trauma can be even more challenging for those with a history of sexual abuse. Add those unrealistic ideals to past abuse or trauma, which lends itself to a negative self-concept, and a person can be left struggling with a very painful self-image.

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How to Have a Healthy Sex Life After Sexual Abuse

healthy love and sex after abuse

Sexual trauma, abuse and violence affects a huge number of people — maybe even you or someone you know. Nearly 1/2 of women and 1 in 4 men report having endured sexual violence at some time in their lives (reports the National Sexual Violence Resource Center). One in 2 trans-identifying people report experiencing sexual violence, says the Center for Family Justice. Survivors face a huge challenge to enjoy healthy sex after sexual trauma.

Past sexual trauma undoubtedly impacts a person’s view of sex in the future—even if they are having sex now in a healthy, secure relationship.  How do you enjoy healthy sex and intimate relationships if earlier trauma triggers terror or confusion around sex?

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How to Heal Trauma By Understanding Your Attachment Style

What is your attachment style?

As a trauma-informed therapist, I talk about secure attachment because it’s the ideal model for the basis of any healthy relationship. Your earliest attachments with parents or caregivers shape your abilities and expectations for relationships throughout life. Your first relationships impact how your sense of self develops, and how you see relationships working.

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Social Anxiety is Starring on Broadway – And I’m Thrilled!

social anxiety Evan Hansen

In 2018 I saw Dear Evan Hansen on Broadway. As a therapist, I’m so excited to see a Broadway musical explore the world of social anxiety and mental illness with such care. In 2019, the show is scheduled to tour through over 30 cities in the USA and Canada. I admire Dear Evan Hansen for presenting mental health issues and the stigma around them, with humanity and compassion.

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Mr. Rogers is Right About Growth After Trauma

Fred Rogers

We all long to feel loved and accepted for who we are. To be seen and comforted in our distress feels soothing and deeply affirming. Emotional support like this is a good sign of secure attachment. When you know your wellbeing matters to someone, that’s another mark of secure attachment.

Childhood is a critical time for learning and experiencing secure attachment. Our earliest relationships do a great deal to establish our sense of self and wellbeing. Knowing, “I matter, my needs matter, and my loved ones will help keep me safe” affirms a child’s sense of self-worth.

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