As the world starts a new year, we start a new day — and every day is an opportunity for growth and change. Every day is a good day to take care of ourselves. You don’t have to start on January 1st with a New Year’s Resolution, and you don’t have to wait until next year if you have already missed starting on the first. Give yourself permission to start taking care of yourself every day!
Wow, it’s December — how did we suddenly get here?
Perhaps by not noticing ourselves? By not slowing down to be present in the moments? Time seems to fly by even faster when we aren’t tuned into our own needs — and guess what? This is a common situation for trauma survivors.
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.” – Maya Angelou
Finding hope, let alone holding hope as a thread through life these days, can seem like a tough task for so many.
Do you always feel like you’re on high alert? Or do you just feel numb? Perhaps you bounce back and forth between the two? Have you wondered how to feel calm or peaceful?
If you find the state of the world today especially triggering, you are not alone! Fortunately, by understanding our nervous systems and trauma responses, we can also understand and adopt new ways of calming our nervous systems to achieve enhanced wellbeing.
I shouldn’t feel this way.
I should know better.
I should have learned my lesson.
I should be able to handle this by now.
I shouldn’t still be upset about this breakup/death/situation.
I would like to hereby eliminate the word “should” in statements like these. I’d like to remove the word “should” from the collective vocabulary of trauma survivors. I’d like to see most everyone else eliminate shoulds for that matter! These statements serve no positive purpose, they only attempt to criticize or hurt.
During these challenging times, it’s normal to be experiencing increased anxiety. Everyone is! And if your baseline is regularly higher in anxiety or hyperarousal, this will feel like even more to you!
Self-care is one of the most important aspects of living a full life! It is a much needed strength to learn in healing trauma. Unfortunately, many trauma-survivors struggle to see their own needs for self-care.
When I recommend the need for self-care to trauma survivors, they say it can feel like a chore.
Some of them even roll their eyes and tell me, “You mean you want me to take care of myself? Ugh. Who has time for that?!”
This is painful. It’s something I never wanted to, or thought, we’d have to talk about. With the upheaval in our country on all sides caused by the election results, everything feels a bit tougher these past few weeks. It’s like many of us are trying to walk through mud with every step… wondering how to move forward in these uncertain times.
From current events to politics, there is no shortage of anxiety-inducing information in the world. At times, it can feel like our senses are being bombarded with worrisome news. How much worry is too much? How can we cope? This can certainly be more difficult for those who have lacked secure attachment in childhood or have experienced trauma during their lives. In fact, those with insecure, avoidant, or disorganized attachment, attachment wounds, or trauma histories will have a harder time re-regulating their nervous systems.