Feeling confident and attractive in today’s world is a huge challenge for all of us. Images, voices and messages from mainstream media can get in our heads, holding us up to impossible standards. Self-acceptance and healthy sex after trauma can be even more challenging for those with a history of sexual abuse. Add those unrealistic ideals to past abuse or trauma, which lends itself to a negative self-concept, and a person can be left struggling with a very painful self-image.Continue reading
If a child in elementary or middle school is acting impulsively, not paying attention and doing poorly in class… the reason seems to be a given these days: ADHD! The child may then be promptly diagnosed and prescribed Ritalin, Adderall or some other stimulant medication.
From the outside, it seems puzzling that any person could develop an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating. When we see someone starving themselves or eating themselves into obesity, the temptation is to criticize or correct them: “Just stop it! Can’t you see you’re hurting yourself?”
But criticism or judgment is the last thing a person with an eating disorder needs. If we want to help people Continue reading
Intimate partner violence may be even more prevalent than sexual assault. Reports show that 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual assault. But nearly 1 in 4 women have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner, says the National Domestic Violence Hotline. One in 3 women have experienced some form of intimate partner violence, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).
Stopping intimate partner violence presents its own set of challenges. Domestic violence often involves a co-dependent relationship and two people with histories of trauma.
But it only takes one well-informed, well-prepared adult in the lives of victims to make the difference between someone staying trapped, and getting help. Continue reading
Do holiday family gatherings stir up feelings of excitement and dread at the same time? Do you feel a little thrown off your game as your visit gets underway? Maybe you’re like the golfer in this story. Stick with me here — it relates back to holiday stress, I promise:
Bad, how deep the pain is
Oh, you just couldn’t believe
And yes, I’m good on the surface
But I’m a mess, I’m a mess underneath.
See Winter took most of my heart
And Spring punched me right in the stomach
Summer came looking for blood
And by Autumn, I was left with nothing
It took a whole damn year to repair my body…
Survivors of childhood trauma deserve all the peace and security that a loving relationship can provide. But a history of abuse or neglect can make trusting another person feel terrifying. Trying to form an intimate relationship may lead to frightening missteps and confusion.
How can we better understand the impact of trauma, and help survivors find the love, friendship and support they and their partner deserve? Continue reading
All my life I’ve been living in the fast lane
Can’t slow down, I’m a rolling freight train
One more time, gotta start all over
Can’t slow down I’m a lone red rover
Oh how did it come to this?
Lyrics from “Polaroid” by Imagine Dragons
From an early age many of us learn the importance of independence, hard work, and “measuring up” to expectations. We push ourselves to excel, do more, and be better than our peers. But few people end up living a life they enjoy by striving full-tilt all the time.
Can we work and live well without burning ourselves out?